Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

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What do Kurt Cobain and a whale have in common? Both have holes in the back of their heads

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Guest what in the butt

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What do you call a mexican and a African? Two people with no water.

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Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

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Q: Why is daddy wrestling mommy? A: Well Jimmy, that is called sexual intercourse. That is how you were created, and many people of all ages engage in this activity every second.

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How do you starve a black man? You deny his foodstamps ~Katie&Lena&Shelbey(:

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(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

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Two Canadian men are sitting in a room. Man 1: Do you know what happens when you shoot a wolverine? Man 2: No. Man 1: It absorbs the bullets, duh. The second man proceeds to go outside with a gun. He returns in a few minutes. Man 1: What did you do with that gun? Man 2: I shot a wolverine. Man 1: What happened? Man 2: It fell over and died. I think you watch too much X-Men.

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A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

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A man walks into a bar. He then takes a step back and notices that his head hurts.

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What happened to the black guy that rammed his ankle against the bed frame? Yelled profusely until it stopped hurting.

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Knock Knock! It's me! Hello? Hello! Why didn't they answer him? He was at the desert, with a disconnected phone. Also, my Captcha for this is "lose face" Good job solf mediya

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock knock. I've got a gun. Knock kn [*BANG!*] [L]

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What sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler.

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What do you do when a burglar breaks into your house and tries to kill and rape you and you family? Nothing, he as an AK-47 and shoots you all dead and then has sex with your corpses.

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A woman walked out of the kitchen.

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What did the banana say to the apple? We're fruity.

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why was six afraid of seven? it wasn't. numbers dont have feelings.

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What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

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why did michele jackson rape a kid. because he was horny duhhhh!

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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