Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

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Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

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If Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and Charlie Sheen were in a room together and you had a gun with two bullets, who would you shoot? Well Hitler and Bin Laden are already dead, and Charlie probably wouldn't die. Plus, I honestly don't think I could bring myself to shoot someone.

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Q: How do you starve a Black family? A: By not giving any Food.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

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What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

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What did goldilocks say to the three bears? she was savagely murdered before she could say anything.

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boling water: why is it taking so long for you to get hard? egg: sorry, it's just because i recently got laid by a chick.

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What did Wonder Woman say to Superman? I'm wonder woman.

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What happened to my sunglasses?

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White guy: I figure she's a gold digger, my neighbor. Black guy: Did you say the N word?

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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Why did Quinn yell at his group project partner? Because he hated him.

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What shall we do with the drunken sailor? Call the police to have him escorted off the boat for operating a large veichle under the influence of alcohol.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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school homewrok

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I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

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Two nerds walk into a bar. The effects of alcohol do not discriminate based upon the social status of said consumer.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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What's Funny About A Black Man Being Shot? Nothing, That Man Was My Friend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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