If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the caterpillar say when he emerged from his chrysalis? I am a butterfly.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was convicted of murder and rape

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why couldn't the teenager go to the pirate movie? He didn't have any money.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is Mary short for? She has no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why is this the worst joke ever? Because it isn't even funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats the difference between samios and a dog? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Whose there? Obviously not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Donald Trump

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Help, this is an urgent message from the S.S. Obesity. We're sinking; I can't imagine why.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops