What did the talking muffin say to the other talking muffin? Ah! A talking muffin!

No

Q. Where's your nan???? A. In my closet

What's worse than a monkey attack. Nothing monkey attacks absolutely blow.

What's brown and smells like shit? My boxers.

Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

What did the chicken say when it layed the square egg? Ouch.

What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

ATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

What do you get when you breed a dog and a cat together? A call from the RSPCA.

Scrooge McDuck dives headfirst into his pool of gold coins... He breaks his neck from the impact of the landing and dies.

Where does Charlie Sheen buy his clothes? Winners

How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? Well none today because today is Saturday... maybe tomorrow

If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

why did I fall off a tree? cause i wanna to

Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Oh, I thought you could tell me. I will ask someone else. See you later.

A sad guy walks in to a bar and the bartender asks, what's the matter? The guy responds, I just found out i'm deaf

Why couldn't the journal cross the street? Because there was a red light.

I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

Why did The white man loose his black friend? Because he ran away.

why did the blind kid cross the road... because he was sick of being blind

How old was the baby when it took its first steps? That question is impossible to answer due to the fact the parents had an abortion and the fetus remained unborn.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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