Wilson: would you buy lottery when you grow up Mattuew: no theres no point Wilson: ask Xiangxi right next to you Mattuew: xiangxi, would you buy lottery if you grow up? Xiangxi: Prabably not, because the chance of winning a lottery is lower than becoming an astronaut Mattuew: the probability of you winning the lottery is higher than you finding a girlfriend

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what's blue , and you can urinate on it ? a rim block.

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whats worst than a trashcan full of dead babies? A baby eating the dead babies.

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What's worse than a baby on a mattress? A baby under a mattress.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause you touch yourself at night;

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. You racist.

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knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

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DEAD ON KANE ITS BEEN ALL YOU ABD CAOIMHIN

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A man walks into a pizza place and orders a pizza. When he got the pizza, he saw it had pepporonis on it. He liked that, so he ate the pizza.

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Q - What's the difference between a Park Bench and a Black Man ? A - The Park Bench can support a family.

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What`s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff What did the banana say to the ear? Hello

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Roses r red, Violets r blue, u think id eva cry ova u?? I told u i luvd u, n u believed it true... Well guess wat baby? U got played 2 B)

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A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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Q:Whats the difference between NBC and the NBA? A: The NBA is the National Basketball Assocation and NBC is The No Body Cares.

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Did you hear about Phil in accounting? No? Well he was trying to make a new type of car. He took the seats from a ford engine from a dodge, and the frame from a toyota. Do you know what he got? 5 years in jail.

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why was there a fish in a fish tank ? because if it wasnt it would die

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Woah, I mean if I was not like super high right now, I would totally hate you for that, you are what we call a charming asshole Nero, you can do that kinda stuff and completely get away with it, I feel like I should be really ashamed... So like does it work on everybody reading this? That would be wack, so much fun to do that.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A catfish could never pass the LSAT because it is unable to perform high-level critical thinking.

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question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

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Why did the blond woman throw a clock out the window? She was going through a bitter divorce, and didn't want her ex-husband's things in her house anymore.

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oh hi, i'm an idiot, i mean mitt romney

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Do you like fishsticks? Ya, me too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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