Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

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An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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What's long and black The unemployment line

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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About numbers, it was 180 mg of valium... And I am going to live becausepeople got there in time, my heart never stopped because luck, the doc was only making a joke about me "having ingested enough valium to die at least twice". Sanders, I just got your girlfriend to agree to a threesome, if my banana ever wakes up again, AND WHEN... Thou areth forgiven, btw I sent him a picture of Line`s unshaved vagina, and a note stating: U recognize this? Find out more on horsehead network! Meh His name is Anders something Chattington, yeah for all that know him, guess whose finger is on her unshaven... Yeah, maybe you should not have messed with a guy that can have ANYONE. Ps: Then its your mother, then your sister which is 17 (and pretty 16 is legal here so fuck you Chatty!) and then I SHALL STRIKE THY WITH THE VENGEANCE OF A THOUSAND SUNS! Because you are forgiven, which I cant even remember what means, I mean I know I am typing my experiences here, but thats only because I remember by muscle memory where the buttons are, said the doctor... I can still play Snes emulators... Not, because my numb fingers cant click anything and Line is gone. I TOUCHED HER ALREADY YA KNO! YOU SAW THE PIC, My skin is tan, and... well you know she is here... The best part? She is totally okay with you knowing, sayonara pal, id watch the "fluor" in your mothers pussy the next time you eat it!

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Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

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Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? HE WAS DEAD STUPID IDIOT.

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what happend when 3 white guys and 3 black guys try out for a basketball team? They all made it because you need 5 people on the team and it is good to have an extra person on the team in case some one gets hurt, fouled out, late for the game or dies.

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

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A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

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What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

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Why did Anna fall off her bike? She had no arms. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Anna.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

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Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a shovel 17 times

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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