What did the frog say when he heard his family was dead? "ribbit"

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

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Why can't monkeys and kuala bears get along? Because they are two entirely different species that cannot communicate with each other...

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What do you call a fat man that breaks into your house at 2 a.m. and steals your money and your television? Probably a dumbass, a jackass, a moron, an idiot, or something in that general area.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

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why didn't bob die? because he liked his hair just the way it was.

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What do you call a black man that can steal, shoot, and jump? A basketball player.

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Q: What do you call a black person living in the United States? A: An African American.

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How did the black man survive the Train crash? He didnt, he died liked everyone else

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Knock knock Whos there Your Ma Your Ma who Your ma's in jail!!!

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

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Q: Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: Because he was hit by a bus, and then was raped violently. He is currently undergoing psychotherapy.

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What is the difference between a refrigerator? Seven anchors because blue isn't vital for turtles to fornicate.

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Stephen Hawkings may know everything about the universe, but try to get him to tie his shoes.

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You haven't happened to see a cigarette truck around here have you? What's a truck?

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What do you call a bad joke website? anti joke

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Two men walked into a bar. Only one came out. What happened? One Passed out.

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why did the dog went inside the church? because the door was open.

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Why did the boy not get picked up from soccer? His mom was in a fatal car accident. His dad simply forgot.

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"Imagine a World Without Free Knowledge" -I'm not imagining, thanks Wikipedia!

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What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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" Whats the deal with airline food? " -Sharon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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