What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? It is unlikely that this situation would occur, as tractors are very large objects and losing one would be very hard, furthermore, tractors are vital agricultural vehicles and most farmers would take care in not misplacing one.

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Speaker 1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Speaker 2: Why? Speaker 1: Every member of your immediate, nuclear, and extended family simultaneously contracted Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) while being beaten, maimed, raped, tortured, and molested by a deranged serial killer during the sinking of the Titanic, eventually bleeding to death and allowing child rapists to eat their dead bodies.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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whats bloop with an m? matthew

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Obama holds the most records for Multikills with Drones. Mu-mu-muuuultiiikilllll.

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? Porn

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Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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They found Michael Jackson dead in his house and found Madeleine McAnn in the cupboard 8P

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What do you get a Jewish boy for Christmas? Nothing he died in 1943!

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What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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What says "Mooo"? A goat with an identity crisis.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? a guy who copies antijokes on ant joke.com

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Finn: Jake, why can your body do all of those magical things? Jake: What do you mean? Finn: Oh never mind. And they both proceeded to enjoy a delicious breakfast.

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what did the cashier do when a Mexican robbed the store? call the police

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wat do u call a person who is ugly ugly

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork. Whats better than catching a baby with a pitchfork? Eating it afterwords.

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What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

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Sure, I was not born yesterday, sounds serious, what is it?

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Your mama's so fat that when she farted, gas came out!

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what did the rapist say to the girl? get in the van

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot n' spicy and the other analyzes urine. -Emo Phillips

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how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? open the door and put him in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops