a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded at sea,the brunette swims 1 quarter of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns.The redhead swims 3 quarters of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns. The blonde swims half the way to shore, gets tired and swims back.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get for you?" The man replies, "a drink"

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Aye I heard somethin about yo mom WAT!!!!!!!!! She a bop

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Billy and Jeff wanted to go on an adventure so they planned a safari in Africa. Everything was going as planned until they were in a sticky situation: whether to cross a narrow bridge above the crocodiles or not. Billy tells Jeff "Hey whats the worst thing that can happen?" Jeff was diagnosed with cancer and died the next morning.

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Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

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Why did the girl cross the road? To get run over by a bus.

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Three men walk into a bar. One of them is not planning to consume alcohol because they are responsible and he is the designated driver.

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What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

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rock crushes scissors, scissors are useless. scissors cut paper, little stips of paper are usless. paper covers rock, structure of rock remains intact.

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What did the smoker say when he coughed? Ohhh dam it's turned into a smokers cough

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

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So this guy walks into a bar, & says "I'll have a beer"........ Yup

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Why did the girl cry? She got hit by a bus.

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What is a gremlin's favorite snack? Gremlins aren't real.

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A class of kids were bouncing basketballs in class and a woman teacher comes in and says,"No balls in the classroom please." All the boys leave the class.

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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a white man a black man and an asian man had a few drinks at a bar. they all died from alcohol poisoning

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Roses are red violets are green i can't rhyme bridge

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why did the chicken cross the road? I never got to ask it got hit by a car.

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your mother is so fat, she possesses her own orbit

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What do a black man and a dog have in common? They're both going to die some day.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender!

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall again? Because somebody put her back on. Why wasn't she able to hug her dad? Because she has no dad.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are blue Cabbage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops