Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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Q: What did the racoon say to the cow? A: Nothing, because neither have the extansive intillect to speak in a manner that the other would understand.

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What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

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What is one similarity between John Samos, and the dreadful clown? they have a red nose and are payed to be funny, aside from John Samos!

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so a blind man walks into a bar, then a chair, then a table.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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What did the jew say to hitler? SURPRISE!! IM YOUR NEW DADDY

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what did one computer say to the other .........

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Yesterday, I was assasinated.

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A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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What is stupid and looks like you? You.

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What did the blonde say when she saw a tan button on her calculator? That must mean tangent.

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What did the black man get for Christmas? Presents

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Me, get naked bitch!

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Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

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What did the duck say? Nothing. Everyone knows that ducks can't talk.

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Nothing. She isn't supposed to chat because it's study hall and they enforce a strict "no talking" policy.

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A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike they both taste good

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender.

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Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

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guy walks into a bar, ouch

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Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

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Knock knock Who's there? Mike Mike who? Mike Davis from across the street. Come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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