A man with ADD walks into a bar. He then.......Damn Nature, you scary!

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What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

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What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

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Whats the difference between a bench and a black man? A bench is an inanimate object incapable of speech, emotion, or thought process.

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NeroChan, I have said nothing to you, that you have not taught me, if nothing else you have indirectly inspired yourself, you will get back on your feet, you just need to take one step at the time, I know how ambitious you are, but you always focused on helping others, hiding, seeing yourself as a sinking ship, trying to help as many as possible before you pass away. We can work trough this together, it is easy to figure out that you are trying to protect others from what you feel that you have become, something that cannot be repaired, something that was never meant to be fixed, but to be used until it had no more to give.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out".

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

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A guy walks into a Bar ........ OUCH

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bigger worm in your apple.

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Why was the bartender's baby crying upstairs? Because it was being raped.

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I am strangling you. Do you see my arms? I AM FREAKEN STRANGLING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

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How do you know if a woman is cheating on you? If you catch her cheating on you

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

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My daughter's so smart, that instead of texting K, she writes Potassium.

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Butterfly is standing on a flower. Cow comes and steps on that flower

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What did the Jewish girl do when I asked for her number? Roll up her sleeve...

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Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

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What is the Pirates favorite letter? C

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What did the physicist say when he got his penis stuck in a test tube? Ah jeesh! I got my penis stuck in a test tube.

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Iceland is actually green and Greenland is actually icy and Germany started the Holocaust.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops