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How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

I remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. I bet I can kick this bucket. He missed and had a heart attack.

Man: Excuse me sir, is this where I turn in my library book? Farmer: You must be really lost, this is a farm.

Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights ;) Wanna hear another joke? Too bad i'm not gonna tell you

What is black and white, and red all over? I don't know that's why I was asking.

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

Did you know that there is a species of rodent capable of jumping higher than an average three-story building? This is due to its muscular hind legs and the fact that the average three-story building cannot jump.

Q: What did the serial rapist say to his best friend? A: You're a good friend

How many Polacks does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to change the lightbulb, one to hold the ladder.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead get pulled over. The cop says "Yuck!" Then shoots the redhead because red hair is disgusting.

What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay for it, eat it and then proceed on disposing the packaging of the klondike bar

How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

What do you call a man who never farts in public? A private tooter!

What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

Its over 9000 penises and they're all raping little children!!!!!

How do you scare a black man? You dont

Q: When there's something strange In your neighbourhood, Who you gonna call? A: The Local Authorities!

Why was the little girl crying Someone therew a dump truck at her

Lady is taking her Alzheimer grandpa to shop for his birthday. Parks, gets out and opens the door for him. He looks at her and asks? Who are you?

What did the starving african child get for his birthday Ebola

Why did'nt the puppy eat it's food? Because it was made up of little bits and peices of it's family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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