So, there's a man and a bar. He gets a hacksaw.

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So, a man walks into a bar. Suddenly, the universe around him cracks, unable to sustain the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

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roses are red voilets are red bushes are red trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!!!!

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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Joey: hey bobby who you talking to? Bobby: oh yeah I forgot to tell you your mom died.

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m

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Man U

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I'm going to rewrite history. History.

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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A man walked into a bar. Too bad he didn't see it.The man was sent to the hospital 2 hours later when a friendly elderly lady found him badly wounded on the ground.

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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Why did the boy kill his parents? Because he doesn't understand this joke either

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what its name is.

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Who is buried in Grant's Tomb? DeShawn

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what does pedobear get for christmas ? nothing he's the one giving love to all kids .

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how do u make a baby cry? you shouldnt. Stop thinking of ways to make a kid cry... asshole.

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why did the baby die? It was hit by a bus and then raped by a seal.

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What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

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why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing, fruit can't talk.

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What's worse than a piece of food stuck between your teeth? I don't know, what? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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-Knock knok who's there? -Orange Orange who? -Orange you glad im an orange? ...I believe you have confused the noun "Orange" with the conjunction "aren't".

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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