Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? An obsession with what motivates a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why didn't Joe catch the baseball? He got shot by a local gang.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the blonde walk into the bar? To get a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

you're momma's so fat, and i like fat chicks. is she home?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you stop a dog from digging up your garden? Every time it does so, shout at the dog so it knows it has misbehaved. Keep doing this and the dog will eventually understand the error of its ways.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than having to listen a song from Justin Bieber? Being wrongfully convicted of child molestation,rape and murder and spending 50 years in prison before being acquited by DNA-analysis.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

good pick up line hey baby have u seen my heart cuz i think you stole it

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did Joe do after the party? He went home.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A Jew, Muslim and Mexican all die of cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

"Why did Suzie fall off the swing?" "She had no arms." "What did Suzie get for Christmas?" "Cancer." "What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a tub of dead babies?" "I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage." "What did Suzie get for Christmas from me?" "My tub of dead babies."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops