My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

Robin, get in the Batmobile.

A Horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse, "Why the long face?". The horse didn't understand English, so he took a shit on the floor, and left.

Why couldn't Billy see the show? Because Billy is blind.

Man: Am i going to be alright? Doctor: No, you're going to die.

why do the klu kux klan wear pillowcases on their heads? they were going to go with coon skin but thought it was a little much!!

A magician was driving down the road and turned into a driveway...

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

What is square and grey? A grey square.

Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? The pilot. You racist.

knock knock who's there? faith

A blonde walked into a hair salon. She got her hair dyed black, as she is sick and tired of jokes that scrutinize those with blonde hair.

What did the cannibal eat for breakfast? Waffles.

What is worse than banging your knee on the coffee table? Tripping over one of the legs and smacking your head on the floor, causing a severe concussion.

What do chicken and babies have in common? They both taste like chicken.

How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You take a survey of all citizens that live in the country of Mexico, find the wealth of each individual person, and whoever has the most money is the richest person in Mexico.

What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? Nothing... he looked him up and down and spat at him instead.

I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I have a pint or two.

If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

i remember when i was a child i wanted a skateboard but my parents would never buy me one so late one night i crept downstairs and got a hammer and some wood and i beat them to death my foster parents baught me 5 skateboards

The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...