How do you stop a plane? Land it.

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How do you stuff a giraffe into a refrigerator? You can't, giraffes are too big.

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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A man once went duck pin bowling, 5 years later he died of leukemia.

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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men, men like men= men+bed

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Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

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Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

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how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

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What happened to the alcoholic man that decided to never drink ever again? He died of thirst. Moral: Alcohol was the only available liquid in this twilight zone... Anti anti joke

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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What do you call a concentration camp with a mental disability? Auschwistic.

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why do some people of all races enjoy American foods? Because they can be extreamly delishus and satisfying to eat. Why dont some people of all races enjoy American foods? Because then we would all be too big to fit on earth.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Except when I said muffins I meant Jews. .. I guess it really isn't that funny anymore.

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You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

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What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

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Knock knock Whos there? Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior jesus christ?

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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a horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "why the long face?". the horse answers..."i'm a horse"

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Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

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Why are apples cheaper than lemons? Because you have to pay less money then lemons to buy them

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Why did the old man get the anti aging cream ? He failed 8th grade 50 times.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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