How many Chinese people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? (NO) Neither have I!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you keep someone in suspense? Refuse to let them view the resolultion of a gripping film.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Making fun of Charlie Sheen is like shooting up in a barrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Yo momma is so ugly that she should probably consider suicide

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q. Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A. Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Well, I guess it's back to the drawing board.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: What did the gun say to the person. A: Bang.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? AIDs.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did michael say to sam? (pedo face) YEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A black man, Jew and a Mexican go camping. A bear wanders into their campsite, but upon seeing them runs away because it's afraid of humans.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock knock Who's there? Banana? Knock knock Who's there? Banana Knock knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you glad you don't have cancer?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the jew ask for $10 back after he lent a boy $2? Because of inflation

thumb_up thumb_down -15

U know whats worser than having a worm in your apple... Having 1352 dislikes on your anti-joke...

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas?? -nothing, he didn't make it that far

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between a Gay Man and a Straight Woman? Anatomy.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

1 error prohibited this post from being saved There were problems with the following fields: * Body can't be blank

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man is mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he reaches down to see if something's stuck in the blades. What does he pull out? His finger.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why was the monster truck late to the rally.. because it had no driver

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How many holes can you poke in my chest, When my chest is by far the best If you believe you can stab Then then grab a knife...that you can grab Skewer my breast Which lies on the best chest And you will discover A man under your covers Yes, keep on pokin' Poke my chest with the knife you are strokin' And then swallow a chode because you are stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops