Baby you're so hot I have an erection the size of an average penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A class of kids were bouncing basketballs in class and a woman teacher comes in and says,"No balls in the classroom please." All the boys leave the class.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

your momma so fat.... that as she walked by....... i missed 3 commercials

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A black man and a mexican jump off a building at the same time, who lands first? Who cares?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus. Why did the bus crash? It hit a boy eating an ice cream cone.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: What did they call the dude who was stuck on a deserted island? A: Incontinent.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did Stephen hawking walk into A bar? He didn't. This situation is impossible considering the fact that he suffers from a horrible condition causing terrible muscular paralysis preventing him from walking.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you do when your dish washer breaks? divorce her.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A rabi a priest and a gay guy are praying. The rabi says amen the priest says amen the gay guy says ahh men.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

If you are reading this you are a nerd

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

So I said to the man "That's no banana, thats my wife!"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

is the glass of milk half empty or half full it is scientifically proven that these are the same thing. Choosing one over the other is like saying that 1/2 does not equal 1-1/2. A normal person would just see this as an ordinary glass of milk.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Yo mama is so stupid that see should really be concerned with furthering her education in a four-year university

thumb_up thumb_down -18

roses are red violets are blue you little stupid a*s b**ch i aint f***ing with you

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Half life 3 confirmed

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are red, violets are blue, my name is cartman, kyle you're a jew

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops