How do you keep the crime rate down in a black neighborhood? Blow everybody up all at one time.

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Rap. Skate. Smoke.

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Knock knock Who's there? You're You're who? YOU'RE MOM IN MY BED!!! (i know it sucks)

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Three men walk into a bar, one ducks and two fall down. What happened? They walked into a metal bar, like a sideways flagpole!

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Kindness is like peeing in your pants, Everyone can see the results, but only You can feel the warmth

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Why? Because.

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What did the Orange say to the Apple? Hi

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What did the whale say when he ran into a wall? - Oh Shit

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What's the connection between Obama and Michael Jackson? They both want to be a girl.

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what did the dog say to the cat nothing because dogs can`t talk and if they could talk the cat wouldn`t understand him because cats can`t talk

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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Why did Sally fall out of the tree? Because She had no arms or legs... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Knock-Knock? Who's There? Not Sally

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Whats bad about being a black jew? You have to sit in the back on the oven.............

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What do you have, if you have fists the can kill someone in one punch? Hulk's DNA

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How Many Women Does It Take To Parallel Park A Car ? Zero , The Husband Drove

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Whats gayer then dancing with the stars? Justin beiber

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Why did the man eat the cat? I don't remember the punchline, but trust me it was hilarious.

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why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by the ice cream van

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Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

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What does? 42

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Tell me fuck you Fuck you No fuck your mum

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Roses are red Heres something new Violets are violet not fucking blue

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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Say, "I have a really nice knock knock joke, but you have to start." To someone. They say knock knock You say who's there! and walk away.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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