Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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What do you call a black guy that drives an airplane? A pilot.

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why did victor have a tube on his neck he was helping james with security

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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Q: Why were there four married men in one room without their pants on? A: because it was the mens bathroom.

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Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

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Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

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A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

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What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

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Q: why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: He had no arms Q: Why couldn't he get up? A: He died when he hit the ground

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What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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Are you from Africa because YOU GOT AIDS

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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A apple a day keeps gramar away.

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Anal

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Why did Michael Jackson die Cuz

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Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

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How do you leave a guy in suspense ...

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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