In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're a whore

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That awkward moment when you get in the van and there's no candy.

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Why did the little boy stop looking for his ball? Because he found it.

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How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

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Question: What do you call the black guy wearing a white shirt? Answer: Steve. His parents game him the name at birth, and he is called that ever since.

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

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why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

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roses are red voliets are blue u actule thought i would cry over you!

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She is a woman ... Who is blind, deaf and mute Therefore considered a danger to herself And those around her.

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how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

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Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

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When did the ball-room finally close? Closing time.

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Why did the blond girl walk into the street pole? Because she wasn't paying attention.

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Two guys walk into a bar.The barmen says "sorry we are closed." So the two men reply "There isn't a closed sign on the door and the door was open so we assumed it was OK to come in and have a drink". The barman says "Sorry we are closed at the moment but come back in 20 minutes and I can serve you". So the men leave and come back for a drink in 25 minutes time.

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A blonde, a brunnette, and a red head all jump from the top of a building. They all land at the same time because of Newton's 3rd Law

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what is worse than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? catching one with a pitchfork!!!!

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How do you judge a black person? By the content of their character.

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A man walks into a bar and says give me a 84 bourbon, when he gets it he spits it out and says this is no 84 bourbon this is a 74 scotch, So he asks for a 68 brandy , when he gets it he spits it out again in disgust saying this isn't a 68 brandy this is a 87 whiskey!, than the old man next to him says here try this, the man says what is it?, the old man just says try it, so the man does, he spits it out and shouts this is urine!, the old man says correct, now tell me how old i am.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? Everywhere.

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Q what r u eating under there? Aunderwear ewww thats nasty

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What do you call a white man? A caucasian male.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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