A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Whose there? Obviously not Suzie.

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What's big fat and ugly? A monster

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A man walks into a bar. He was the barman. [L]

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To collect it's AIDS medication.

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What's the difference between Timmy and a car? Timmy can be brutally murdered.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

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Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

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an american walks out of a strip club.

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It's raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring. He bumps his head, and is quickly rushed to the ER for serious head trauma

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

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If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

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So a blond, a brunette, a ninja, a pirate, a priest, a rabbi, a mathematician and an engineer all walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What, is this some kind of joke?"

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What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

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Why did the gay guy walk into a straight bar To find the better looking guys

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Why do you stick a baby in a blender feet first? So you can see the expression on its face...

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What happens when 4 friends throw an egg into oncoming traffic, they hit a fire hydrant!

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I haven't been able to deal Since the day that I lost you. Now these roses bleed red And these violets cry blue I think of you in memories Do you think of me too?

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How do you make an electrician cry? Kill his family.

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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What do you call a white basketball player? A very athletic hardworking dedicated human being.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops