Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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Why was Billy no mates? He had no friends.

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How many Pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1. and "pollack" is a derogatory term that could be fond offensive to some people.

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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, then they probably won't hear the lumberjack's cries for help either.

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Yo' mama's so poor that she can't afford many of the privileges of everyday life.

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"Knock knock?" "Who's there?" "Two dead kittens."

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Potassium? K.

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This joke is pointless, microwave.

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Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

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A Polish man walks into a bar and says, "Co za asy..."

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Why is this the worst joke ever? Because it isn't even funny.

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When does a cat not land on its feet? When it has paws.

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Why wouldn't Rose let go of Jack? Freddie told her that he was just a poor boy and nobody loves him.

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Why was the orphan's christmas sad? He got a violent chest infection and died.

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What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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what is big white and hurts when it falls on you out of tree? A refrigerator

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What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

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Why did the fat ugly bald Jewish man go to the bank? He needed to take out some cash because he was going out for lunch at a highly recommended restaurant.

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Irish man English man and a Scottish man all in a plane they jump out then they land

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why did Sarah fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? not sarah

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Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

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Why did Michael Jackson name his kid blanket? Because after years of drug abuse and sexual insecurity led to him thinking unrealistically during the birth of his children.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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