- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

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When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

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What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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What separates man from animal? Divorce.

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they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE HERE'S A KNIFE KILL YOURSELF KANE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

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Who's the best player in Madden 07 on the PS2? Michael Vick.

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THAT'S RIGHT, BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER BOUGHT. LOOK WHAT A GREAT JOB IT DID ON THIS PAGE YEAH! I RECKON IT IS THE BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER DIDN'T SEE

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knock, knock who's there you yoohoo i don't like chocolate milk!

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How many kids does it take to fix a light bulb 5 1 to fix the light bulb and the others to get in the van

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate the chicken.

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Their was once a man named Bob Clemens who really wanted to have sex with an underage girl. So one day he went on an online chat site to find one. He ran into this young girl and told her all the things he wanted to do to her and she told him that she had never done anything and really wanted to try it. Bob went over to her house one day and she told him to sit down and grab some cookies while she came back. She came back and Bob gave her the roughest pounding that any human being could recieve.

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What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

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How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

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What did Wonder Woman say to Superman? I'm wonder woman.

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What do you call an animal with 4 legs ? A dog...

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2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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No antijoke here.

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why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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