Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

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In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

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"New season of Dr.Phil. How does that make you feel?" ANGERY!!!!!

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whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

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Suck my bigvagina you faggetass bitchybuns

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Why is my son so unhappy? Because I beat his mother violently in front of him

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What's worse than failing a school test for Peter? Nothing, because he is asian.

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pants on the ground pants on the ground lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground

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Yolo Pierre because of Etzio tickle shits faggatron and individual nut join forces to become the shit suckers

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Q: Whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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What do you call two gay guys? People who should be living in California.

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Listen Nero, you are the only one I suspect right now, how do you know all of this? Why should I believe you?!

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What do an eagle and a mole have in common? They both fly, except for the mole.

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Why was the man sad? His brother died.

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Why was David enjoying his cream of mushroom soup? Because David had spent the last 17 days eating flouescent light fix-ins.

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Q: What do you call a bathtub? A: A bathtub

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What did Osama say before he was shot? Nothing, it was a surprise attack.

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What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

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How many squirrels does it take to change a lightbulb? 42.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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