Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call an animal with 4 legs ? A dog...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why does the gay guy like anal-sex? because he's gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats worse than being fat? Being Rebecca Black

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you know when you're on the wrong side of the tracks? You don't. (Wyndellberg)

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many blonds does it take to screw in a light bulb? ... It shouldn't take anymore than one person to do this job, regardless of there hair color.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Burp

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am colorblind because Iam a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man runs into a bar, sits down in a hurry and demands a beer from the bartender. The bartender looks at him wearily, but shrugs, pours him a beer and sets it down in front of him. The fat naked man then drinks the beer and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Theaters say silence is golden... Trap silence in a jar, make millions.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the muffin not eat the other muffin. Because muffins do not have a digestive system.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Hey how is your wife and my kids

thumb_up thumb_down +11

my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops