Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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Joe: Will you remember me tomorrow? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next week? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next month? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next year? Mack: Yes Joe: Knock knock Mack: Who's there? Joe: See you forgot me already! Mack: No I didn't Joe, I thought you were going to tell me a knock knock joke. :/

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What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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hey its jerry hey its dj want to see my goat noooo

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What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

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"Knock knock?" "Who's there?" "Two dead kittens."

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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, then they probably won't hear the lumberjack's cries for help either.

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This joke is pointless, microwave.

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Yo' mama's so poor that she can't afford many of the privileges of everyday life.

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Why was Billy no mates? He had no friends.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got run over on the way there.

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Potassium? K.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house... knock knock who's there the chicken

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Against city ordinates, an old woman was keeping chickens in her suburban back yard. One escaped, and there was no where else to go.

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Ebola

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a shovel 17 times

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What do you get when you cross a RPG with a cell phone? A microwave

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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Why couldn't the Muslim eat pork? He didn't have a tongue.

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roses are red, violets are blue, if ruddell was black, he would smell of poo.

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What's worse than getting a paper cut? Getting shot in the face.

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a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops