Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

Oh please! Come on! Those that got to us where mostly Russians remember? And what where my parents? (if you do not know you might have guessed it by now) I found a guy that looked about the same as me, messed him up and put my jacket on him, I do not die that easily. Anyway, id explain more, but I have been without these fucking painkillers so long that I am talking trash on this stupid site again... Seriously the pain I am used to, but this addiction on painkillers is a bitch... (shedog if censor got a hold on it) But it turns out I cant sleep without them, sleep just does not come anymore, so Ill go get some now. Who are you by the way? I am Nero7, Aka Axel Knight.

Why was Jacob not allowed to play sports? He fell down in the middle off the street and got ran over 50 times and could never do anything again.

why did the boy eat his lunch money? it was his lunch!

knock knock who's there jehovas witness... ...I allow them into my house for a cup of tea and a chat as I respect their religion

Why did the legless person roll down a hill? Because he was in a wheelchair

wat did one chicken say to the other bock bock

Yeah, but why is this honesty so important for you, personal reasons because you are like that, because you consider me a friend? Or because a single lie, could have catastrophical consequences?

If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

How do you make a baby stop crying? You throw it out the window.

What's faster than a Mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

I told a priest that I would never believe in anything greater than myself. He said I had the God complex, that I was grandios. I stared him in the eye and asked, "how highly do you think of me? Thank you" and left.

What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

So three Irish guys walk out of a bar

how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

Guess what sucks! A Vaccume. Guess what blows! A Sucky Vaccume.

What do Lebron James and Bill Murray have in common? They are both black basketball players. Except for bill murray

what do u call a 50 yr old man at disneyland a rapist

A black man has just died on your porch. What do you do? Immediately call for medical assistance and perform CPR.

There are two cows in a field. One cow says to the other - 'Are you afraid of the mad cow disease?' The other cow says - 'No, cuz I'm a duck.'

How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

Peter was sitting on a bench. He had a bag of 10 sweets and was eating them slowly. John and Anthony both wanted some, but Peter wanted to still have sweets left over. How many did he give them both? None. He's that selfish.

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is an object and the black man is a human being.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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