So i was writing a letter to my girlfriend on valentines day right ? So this is how it goes . " hey lisa happy volentines day!" my black friend walks up to me and says" its a mightyfine day out! " The moral of the story is... Tomatoes can't fly planes

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A man works at a Doritos factory hes worked there for a few weeks and hes made the most Doritos in his line now and the head of the company gives him a promotion he now runs his own line a few months later the head of the company bob comes back to him and promoted him again to now our friend Carl is head of the Factory about two years later bob comes to Carl and hes promoted to head of the east coast he is head of 27 Factories about a decade later bob asks Carl if when he retires Carl will take over the company and he accepts bobs offer 23 years pass and bob retires Carl is the new head of the company so he is about like 65 at this point and he wants some wine so him and his buddies go for some wine Dan says Carl this lines two long so they decide to have some soda and then Jason says this lines longer then the last one so Aiden says to Carl why don't we go get some punch so they all got into line but there was no punch line a.w. j.p.

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Two scuba divers are playing cards on the bottom of the ocean. One asks "have you got amy threes?" Then they both die from maintained exposure to the incredible pressure at the bottom of the sea. One left behind three children.

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What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

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why did road cross the chicken Niggers love chicken.

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how do you call someone? use a phone

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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What did the black boy wear for Halloween? A costume.

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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whats black with purple?nothing no animals or humans have anything like that

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What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems make sense. 5

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what has balls and is long and suckible? Spaghetti

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old spice body spay is so powerfull it can block BO for 16 hours. its so powerfull it can turn of the sun, but then it gets to cold, so it makes another sun........DOUBLE SUN POWWWWWEEEERRRRRRR!!!

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Where was the Decoration Of Independence Signed? At the bottom.

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Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in a apple? Getting raped by a skorpian

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I don't want to hear another joke about female hygiene, PERIOD! -Lets go Mets

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what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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