A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead.

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Why are AntiJokes so funny? Because your brain analyses them and makes you laugh.

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Why didn't the pregnant, pro-choice woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

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When there's something strange in your neighborhood, who ya gonna call? The Police. There's something strange in your neighborhood.

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What do you call six white guys on a bench? Six white guys at the park

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How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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What do you call a chicken? You say bawk bawk bawk bawk cockadoodledoo

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Why was the man's foot hurting? Because he was being fed into a wood chipper

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Does it really matter?

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AND

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken

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What's worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? 47 dead babies stapled to trees (it's better if it's a nice, round number.)

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A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

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Which of the following is the reason the Titanic sunk. Select all that apply. A. Iceberg B. No radar C. Late warning D. Put your hands on me Jack E. This ship can't sink F. Over by the bed, the couch G. God himself can't sink this ship Z. All the above X. None of the above Q. Why are you still reading

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What is an offensive way to refer to black people from the time of the Flint Stones? Niggers

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NO ONE LIKES RANGAS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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