How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at his genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

Today is jessica's birthday and she is turnig 6 She walks in the living room to tell her dad its her birthday. Jessica"Dad, Dad guess how old i am today!" Dad "How old?" Jessica"6 dad im am 6". she walks into the kitchen to tell her Grandad Jessica" papa papa guess how old i am today" Grandad"Well for me to know this you would have to take of your panties" as he tells her she did as she was told. her grandad fingers her and smells her panties. He tells her "You are 6 today" Jessica"How did you know" Grandad"I listen as you told your dad in the dinning room".

A: Knock, Knock B: Whos there? A: Noone, the door and the visitor are both existential figments of your imagination.

what did the penguin say to the other penguin after they rolled down a hill, and fell into a pile of leaves then proceeded to go swimming, play basketball, go swimming again and then play ping pong and pool? nothing. penguins cant talk

Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

what's white and sticky semen

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

whats the difference between 10 Ferrari's and 10 dead babies ? i dont have 10 Ferrari's in my garage

What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

How many Japanese people does it take to make a whirlpool? - None, because they're all dead.

What did the homeless man get for his 34th birthday? 34 years of regret.

Bigfoot, the loch ness monster, and self-respecting Justin Beiber fans are all the same, your told they exist, it's not true.

WHATS A GREAT RAVE TUNE KANE !!!!! TUCKER !!!!!!!! DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Two blonds walk into a bar, the brunette ducked

Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

The elephant moonwalked. On the moon.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

Why did Suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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