Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am Jack Bauer, Where is the nuke?

Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? The bench can support a family of 4?

Try this on your friends and make them look dumb So a plane crashes on the border between the USA and Canada. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury the survivors.

The child was fired from his job.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

What state is high in the middle and round on both ends? Onorth Chiarolinao

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? This year I'm going to win the golden brief case!

whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing your mum having sex

Ok so a black guy is packing his bags for college and then......... wait a minute?

What do you call a big house full of dead people? My family

What's worse than being hit with a falling brick? Being hit with many falling bricks. -ilikecrepes97

What is the fastest bird in air? NONE WHO NEEDS TO RIDE BIRDS WHEN YOU HAVE AIROPLANES!!!!

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have the Cadillac, Get the Guns

What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

What did the black man get for Christmas? Presents

What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

A guy named M.C. walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "wheres the food?" The bartender says, " its in your stomach."

why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

what's bloody and sweet? A squashed mosquito sprinkled with sugar.

EVERYBODY has a penis!!! Everybody!!!!

Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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