Roses are Red I shit in your Stew When you eat it The joke is on you

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What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

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What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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What goes in dry and comes out wet and sticky? Bubble Gum

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What's the worst way to say you want to break up? Kill her dog.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? It didn't, J-walking is against the law.

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Youu might be a Jew if you........take part in a weekly service at your local synagogue.

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Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous weapons that may inflict bodily harm.

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What are crabs with out the crabs Nothing hahahahaha

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

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tim tebow and mark sanchez will lead the jets to the superbowl

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? The penguin who apparently lives next door and somehow developed the ability to successfully interact with other species through gesture and retoric.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6 million, 1 to screw it in, and 5,999,999 to die in the holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops