Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Sex education in Texas,

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There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

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Well... My reputation is still kinda exaggerated apparently. What you experienced is called astral projection, some people claim it is the same as lucid dreaming, I beg to differ, the difference is vast. You basically just admitted that people believe much more in you, than you believe in yourself, without believing hypnosis does not work, people are like "bah its just suggestions", its true, but underestimating the power of suggestions is a pretty bad call.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Q: Why do Mexicans love rice and beans? A: Because it's fairly easy to grow in places with relatively low rainful and high temperatures like that in which they live in.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas?? - Cancer

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Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

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A blonde walks into a bar; she orders and enjoys her drink and then leaves with her thirst quenched.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because he raped her

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what is worse than joel an infested asshole

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What's worse than a shotgoun to the balls? Nothing.

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A man walks into a bar. He is knocked unconscious, and passers-by rush to his aid.

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The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

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watched pride and prejudice last night. I hate period dramas... too much blood

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

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Your mother is so fat that when she went to get weighed she was diagnosed as clinically obese and later broke down into tears.

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What's worse than a guy staring at you? Two guys staring at you.

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

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Why did Joe not cross the road? Because the Pedestrian Crossing light said not to.

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Why are you on this sight? You're procrastinating. I am too

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How to you kill a pizza guy? Shoot him in the face.

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A blind man walks into a bar After realising he might be hurt everybody rushes to his aid

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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