Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

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what is my catphrase nothing I am too good to have one

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Systemic oppression.

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How does Fred drink his milk? -computer

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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Tifa my ass, if that is your name buddy, then I am Nicholas Cage, or why do you not just call me Cloud Strife? Seriously, if you are a guy just say it and get lost, I will still honor my agreement and show up and see what I can do for your little order though, you pay the trip and the stay of course.

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Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

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roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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If you see a person falling down your balcony, Say cya later!

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knock knock. who's there? 9/11

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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Why did the middle age man walk across the street? There were no vehicles currently driving on that particular road

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Why did'nt the puppy eat it's food? Because it was made up of little bits and peices of it's family.

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Two penises walk into a minefield. Both are very careful with their every step and try not to be blown.

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What do you call Justin Bieber's assassin? A hero doing a noble favor to the community.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

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How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

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There was an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman. Now there's millions of them. And women too.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? AIDs.

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why did rhys jones get shot. because he was there

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I remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. I bet I can kick this bucket. He missed and had a heart attack.

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What did the douche bag get for Christmas?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops