Whats white and goes up? a confused snowflake

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Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

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Roses are red Grass is green Get in the van If you know what I mean

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How many Lepers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? People with leprosy should not be doing general house keeping.

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If gluttony is a serious sin, why are so many Christians fat? Because they have bad eating habits.

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what do u call a black guy who sells drugs a pharmacist

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Rose are brown, Violets are brown, Who keeps pooping in my garden?

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What did the lampshade say to the other lampshade? Nothing they sat in silence

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What's worse than a piece of food stuck between your teeth? I don't know, what? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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Son: Mommy can I have some cookies? Mom: Sure, they're on the top shelf! Son: But I don't have any arms! Mom: No arms, no cookies!

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what do you call a black drug dealer? A pharmacist.

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What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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What do a turtle and a bowling ball have in common? Nothing

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What's the same between a grape and an airplane? they both have wings but the grape doesn't

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: ‘In silence.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't so much cross the road as he did go down the road, to the supermarket, where he was sold to a family of 5, and taken down yet another road to the family's house, where they enjoyed a nice family dinner.

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What did the ghost say to the black man? nothing. He just shot him.

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Why did the elephant get on the roof? To jump in the pool.

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A man comes into a bar. Wait, it's a horse. A man comes into a horse.

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Q: How do mentally retarted people read books A: They dont

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Adam eats ginger nuts the fookin chicken

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What do you do when a black person steals your computer Inform the authorities, as theft is a felony.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops