How do you make a baby stop crying? You throw it out the window.

how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

wat did one chicken say to the other bock bock

I told a priest that I would never believe in anything greater than myself. He said I had the God complex, that I was grandios. I stared him in the eye and asked, "how highly do you think of me? Thank you" and left.

why did the baby die? It was hit by a bus and then raped by a seal.

Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

What did the lampshade say to the other lampshade? Nothing they sat in silence

Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

There are two cows in a field. One cow says to the other - 'Are you afraid of the mad cow disease?' The other cow says - 'No, cuz I'm a duck.'

What do you call an animal killed on the side of the road? A false accusation towards an inanimate object that has no other purpose then providing a safe and smooth ride for drives all around the world.

what do u call a 50 yr old man at disneyland a rapist

What do you call an old man in his underwear with a bag of pepper on his back while licking pebbles off the sidewalk? Senile.

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is an object and the black man is a human being.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding two worms in your apple. Whats worse than finding two worms in your apple, the Holocaust. Whats worse than the Holocaust, finding three worms in your apple.

How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

If i wanted your 2 cents i'd rob you

What do you call a deer that has no eyes? I have no eyedeer

How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

A handicapped man walks into a bar...

What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

And so the baseball says to the tractor........ Your not my dad

What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

If u give brandon a stick he will most likely poke u

rozes r read violots r bue i cannt soell causse ima bliend

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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