Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have the Cadillac, Get the Guns

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What state is high in the middle and round on both ends? Onorth Chiarolinao

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

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What do you call a big house full of dead people? My family

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Why was the man picking his nose? Because he was born without one, and found one he liked.

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What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

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A guy named M.C. walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "wheres the food?" The bartender says, " its in your stomach."

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EVERYBODY has a penis!!! Everybody!!!!

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what's bloody and sweet? A squashed mosquito sprinkled with sugar.

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why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

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what did the chicken say when it crossed the road? you know. chickens arent the only animal that can cross roads! why can it be why did the racoon cross the roads? because that happens more frequently!

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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What is the sun's favorite day of the week? The sun is a mass of incadescent gas and cannot feel emotions; therefore, it cannot have a favorite day of the week.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Insurance. Insurance who? I'm sorry, sir; we can't fix your liver because you don't have any insurance.

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Hay is for horses and other hay consuming mammals.

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Did you know that Claire Seiter likes to drinkapplseiter? No. Oh well she does..

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oh hai i'm al gore reduce ur carbon footprint lolz

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i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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Why did the jew ask for $10 back after he lent a boy $2? Because of inflation

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What do you call a dog with no legs Nothing it won't come

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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who can be more evil than the person who hit my nuts. Adolf Hitler.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops