How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your titties super glued to a triceritops' as cheeks while the triceritops has chronic diahrea

what did the hobo as the other hobo? do u have any cheese?

Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

What did the chair say to the fan? Nothing. Chairs and fans are objects so they do not have the physical ability to talk.

Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

Is your refrigerator running? If so, you are on drugs, and should see help.

A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

Me: Knock Knock Mom: Who's there? Me: Jason Mom: Jason who Jason: HOW COULD YOU FORGET ME I CAN'T BELRIVE YOUR ALZHEIMER'S HAS GOTTEN THAT BAD! WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME BWAAA! *Jason sadly died short after from a bus hitting him*

It's not gay until eyes meet or tips touch.

how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

Why did the bus crash? The driver was a loaf of bread.

your mommas so fat she should be worried about getting diabetes

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? Dead babies are not sports cars

What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

What is black and hangs on a rope next to a rebel flag in my back yard? A tire swing for my redneck kids to swing on.

What's worse than falling out of a tree and landing on a dog? Rape.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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