Why did the teenage girl pee on a stick? She and her boyfriend had foolishly engaged in unprotected sex two weeks before, and she was now concerned that she may be pregnant.

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What's sad about four children going over a cliff in a car ? Four children just went over a cliff in a car.

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on a planet, in a galaxy, far far away... you have cancer

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What's the difference between a person and a cow? 2% of their DNA. The other 98% is virtually identical.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you had a pulmonary embolism, you would be too

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a kid was running across the street. he just got hit by a truck

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Why was the asian bad at sex? Because he was 5 years old

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red pain is spilled on it.

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To mama so old, she might die soon.

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Your mom is so old, she was able to have children around the time you were born.

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why did the man steal change from the tip jar? he wanted another state quarter for his collection

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Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

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Whats happening when you see your TV floating at night? You are probably suffering from some sort of mental disorder which causes spontaneous hallucinations and should seek medical help before the condition worsens.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor Wheres my tractor?

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Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, I have amnesia.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to take three harpoons to the chest and still manage to feast on a family of baby seals...... Hi my name is Joey

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A man walks into a bar. and buys a drink.

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A pigeon walks into a bar. Someone left the door opened.

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a morman walks into a bar, he buys a 7up.

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Q: What causes earthquakes? A: Your mother walking.

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Whats black and white and red all over? A chopped up dalmation...

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why do they sparkle?!?!?!?!

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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