Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, but if the ladder is shaky, you might need another to hold it up.

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Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

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What do you call a white guy? A caucasion man.

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Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

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What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

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What was Joe's old name? Joe, I lied about the old part.

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What do you say when your hot chocolate is to hot? This hot chocolate is too hot.

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how many jews does it take to fit in a mid-size sedan? -5 comfortably.

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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Justin beiber comment if u get it

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What did the caterpillar say when he emerged from his chrysalis? I am a butterfly.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There Not Sally Why was the boy sad? Because he dropped his ice cream cone Why'd he drop his ice cream cone? Because he got ran over by a bus Why'd he get run over by a bus? BECAUSE SALLY WAS DRIVING

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Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

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one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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Why couldn't the bunny hop? Because it lost both it's legs

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How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

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Gorillas are black, Roses are red, Were out of milk, GET THE F**K OUT!

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What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

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Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

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If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops