Why did the housewife become a farmer? Because the kitchen was burned down in a horrific accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What is exceptionally dangerous? Shaving while taking a bath, because the risk of electrocution is extremely high.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender, upon seeing him, asks him to leave. The black man is enraged by the blatant racism shown by this man, and proceeds to punch the bartender repeatedly. After 5 minutes of non-stop punching the man stops, looks at his victim, and is filled with remorse. He is dead. Upon looking around, the black man notices scaffolding and building equipment scattered around the room. He falls to the ground as he realizes the bar is still under construction, and unable to serve customers this early in development. The bartender was simply asking the man to leave for his own safety.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

a blonde girl walks into a bar...of soarp, slips, falls, and breaks her spine.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What is x + 12 That is impossible because you can't add letters

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Knock knock! Who's there? IT DOESN'T MATTER, YOU'RE NOT COMING TO MY HOUSE!!!! *closes door*

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Sickman Fraud, cocaine snorting alshole... "Oh yeah mommy I love raping you so much... What where are you? This cocaine is really bad quality man! The effect was so short..." Your friendly r*pist neighborhood Moral Man: "Because since when do you really need cocaine... ...In order to rape your mother?"

thumb_up thumb_down -30

how come the tadpoles dad told him he can't be a nurse? he has 2 b a frog!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why are lawers are so scared of Jerry bryant? Because he bites

thumb_up thumb_down -30

roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A guy, arriving at the pearly gates of Heaven, asks St. Peter "Why did I die? Why me." St. Peter replies: "You died the same way everyone does. Lack of oxygen to the brain."

thumb_up thumb_down -30

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What was the best part of the holocaust? A: none of it, it was a terrible event in history and hopefully is never repeated

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How do you keep the crime rate down in a black neighborhood? Blow everybody up all at one time.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side XD

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Rap. Skate. Smoke.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What Do call a dog with an e A doge

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Your mom is so ugly, Ew.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops