Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Does it really matter?

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What's worse than strapping 10 dead baibes to a tree? Strapping a dead baby to 10 trees.

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How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen cheese

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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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knock knock who's there the police you're under arrest for the kidnapping, and murder of 12 girls you have the right to remain silent anything you say or do can and will be used against you in the court of law

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Do I ever ask yo a question that I havn't given you the answer to Mr Hearty.

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What do you say to a disabled man in a lift? Have a nice day.

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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Why are female badgers more attracted to the smell of cheese than male badgers? I don't know. Ask Bill Snodgrass

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What's the difference between a prostitute and your mom? Your mom is a well educated lawyer who earns half a million dollar a year while the prostitute sells her own body for an extremely small amount of money.

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An American, a German, and a Mexican walk quickly into a room. They were late for a work meeting.

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Why didn't the plane crash... because of the wight male piloting it

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I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

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Why are Pirates called Pirates? Because the word originates from the term Pirata which means 'sea attacker' in Latin.

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A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

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Why did the pig cross the ocean? So he could be eaten by Americans.

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an alien is walking down the street he can't breathe our air and quickly suffocates and dies

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Q: Why did the Asian fail his driving test? A: Lack of concentration on the road and low knowledge of functioning a car.

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Why was the black man in Jail? He works there as a correctional officer.

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roses are red, violets are blue. Some poems don't make sense, Salad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops