An American, a German, and a Mexican walk quickly into a room. They were late for a work meeting.

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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What's worse than strapping 10 dead baibes to a tree? Strapping a dead baby to 10 trees.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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Why are female badgers more attracted to the smell of cheese than male badgers? I don't know. Ask Bill Snodgrass

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What do you say to a disabled man in a lift? Have a nice day.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Does it really matter?

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I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

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What's the difference between a prostitute and your mom? Your mom is a well educated lawyer who earns half a million dollar a year while the prostitute sells her own body for an extremely small amount of money.

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How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

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Why did the pig cross the ocean? So he could be eaten by Americans.

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an alien is walking down the street he can't breathe our air and quickly suffocates and dies

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A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

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Why are Pirates called Pirates? Because the word originates from the term Pirata which means 'sea attacker' in Latin.

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Repeat after me... I'matote ulbu twad Now say that all together Im a total butt wad

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2 men were in a bar, One was talking to the other, "I was walking down the street someone fell." "ha" "isis it true?" "What" "isis" and a bomb went off and they all died

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knock knock Whos there? (the boy who knocked proceeds to run away with laughter)

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Knock Knock Who's There? Im Black Im Black Who Open The Door Now Pancakes Granted

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What's the number 1 tip to burning stomach fat? Lighting yourself on fire.

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What do you get we you mix a ginger with gasoline? A forest fire.

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What did Robin do in between crime fighting? He had a paper route.

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What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops