Q: What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A Good Start.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A bison trots into a bar. The bartender says, "My pee makes bubbles in the toilet." Amazed by the urination fact, the bison explodes.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a middle ages man driving a van filled with children? Coach.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, did you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate replies, "Arrrgh, there's been a horrible nautical accident. Please call an ambulance immediately."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Chuck Norris.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than The Holocaust? Nothing, The Holocaust was a dark and scary time.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than Bogans? Boat people.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I went out for a nice evening with my wife last week, and we kept getting dirty looks because I'm 42 and she's 19. I get that people are a little weird about that for whatever stupid reason, but it totally ruined our tenth anniversary.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Scream went into the bar. The bartender says," Why the long face?" "..." *facepalm*

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a Mexican who steals cars? John Doe, until he's been identified.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Jenny fall off her bike? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Jenny

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did javonne choose club getaway madonna wanted to foster

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I am black. And i will beat your children. At checkers. They can be the red .

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is computers and smells like thin and fragile? dyslexic nipples.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff cathcing him at the bottom with a pitch fork

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why can't black people get sunburned? Natural selection allowed ancient Africans to develop a darker skin shade that would counter strong UV rays.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happens if you don't stop, drop, and roll? Astigmatism.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops