How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

A black man a white man and an asian man walk into a bar have a few drinks and on thier drive home run over a three year old little girl and here to month old sister and they go to prison for the rest of thier lives (they shouldn't of let the asian drive)

what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

Donald Trump decided to run for President.

A drunk man into a bar. He is ripping apart a family

"Knock knock?" "Who's there?" "Two dead kittens."

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get to the other side.

Q. what did voldemort get for christmas that harry potter didnt? A. dinner with his parents

Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

Q: How do you make Osama Bin Ladin happy? A: Take him out to a nice seafood dinner free of charge.

What did the Dildo say to the banana? Nothing, unless you're high on acid.

That`s my friends phone, I can call you from mine too if you want, please just don't hurt me, let me speak to you, I promise I will explain everything.

What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? What you probably have is a lawyer on holiday with his children, allowing himself or herself to be buried in order to please said children.

What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

A Redhead, a Blonde, and a Brunette are all standing on top of a cliff in Ireland. They took a few pictures, and all in all it was a lovely vacation.

knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...