Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

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What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

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A apple a day keeps gramar away.

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Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Q:What is your maturity on a scale of 1 to 100? A:69

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The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

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Dude, you were so drunk last night that you got in a terrible car accident, and now you are paralyzed from the waste down for life.

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What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson? Spelling.

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What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

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Q. how does james bond like his babies A.shaken not stirred but if u think thats bad wait till u see a stirred baby

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A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

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Tony Romo

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Why did the pedophile cross the road? To molest a child.

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why didn't the Asian ask for a calculator cause he was doing the dishes and a calculator seemed inappropriate

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

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whats big fat round and bounces on the ground? a ball and your mum

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

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Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops