Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You know you really should have a safer way of finding out who is really on the other side. Now a days it's just not safe to ask, "who's there". I mean it could have been, Milkman, Plummer, or worst a Land Shark!

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Why did the bus driver tell the black man to get to the back of the bus? Because all the seats up front were full and its dangerous to stand in a moving vehicle

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Why was the little boys mom watching tv in the living room? Better question why is she out of the kitchen.

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Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

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What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

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Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

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How does a black guy in debt make money fast at the bank? He applies for a loan and conscientiously works hard to pay off the loan in turn, which he was lucky enough to get at a low interest rate.

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yo mama just like a toilet, white and full of crap!

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Get a life besides thumbing down statements telling you advice.........

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What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Two holocausts.

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What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

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what do you get when you combine sodium and hydroxide? sodium-hydroxide

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What's old and baggy? An old bag.

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have you seen stevie wonder's house. no? Well nethier has he you

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Why was Billy no mates? He had no friends.

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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What do you call a college student who never studies? An irresponsible person

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Whats green and fuzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops