What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Some chocolate and a new DVD.

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Why was the little Asian boy crying at the county fair? He had just watched his entire family get brutally crushed beneath the weight of the old ferris wheel as they went to get on. Never would he forget the painful screams of his mother as her blood splashed onto his white t-shirt. Never would he forget the police car ride to the foster home when it all sank in that they were truly gone. And never would he forget the abuse his new parents would inflict on him daily. But what would forever torment him most were those screams. Those persistent screams that woke him in the night until the day he died many, many years later.

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I don't want to share my name yet if that is okay, I mean I have not seen you, but you have seen me just saying. Tell me how old you are first, I am 26, or 27, being more or less an orphan since birth details like that kinda lose themselves. And no, its not Eliza, I will wait for you here if you do not mind, there are still people that have thought I am Nero all this while, that`s what worries me, I doubt I can convince them I am chatting with myself this time around.

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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How do you get out of editable poly? You don't.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

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A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society, so she returned to the kitchen and continued to make her master's sandwhich.

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How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved

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How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

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Boy: Knock Knock! Girl: Who's there? Boy: It's me, John. Girl: Oh, come in!

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What do you call a black man at school the janitor

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what cuts the grass on christmas eve and lives in mexico? JP I lied about Mexico jackin it in san diego

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Q why was John bullied A Becuase he told kids that bullying was a bad and serious problem to get them to stop bullying jimmy unfortunately Jimmy killed himself because he was bullied to much and didn't want to live.

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Paul was mowing his lawn when he felt a bump. It turned out it was a bunny. Paul felt bad but the bunny felt worse

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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What is big, hard, and bushy? My Penis. I lied about it being bushy.

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Justin Bieber.

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A light bulb is very similar in shape to a pear. So, when you change a light bulb, don't replace it by a pear.

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There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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Why did the chicken cr-VAGINA!!!!!!!!!!! sorry, tourettes.

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Rebecca Black walked into a stadium. There were so many seats to choose from. But, she sat down in the nearest seat she could find and enjoyed the football game.

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your mum

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Sex with helen keller.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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