a horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "why the long face?". the horse answers..."i'm a horse"

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. They were walking and baby tomato starts lagging behind. So the papa tomato stomps on the baby tomato and says nothing because tomatoes can't talk.

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Go to this website and this game is an antijoke to laugh at http://iamhelenkeller.com/

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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One time i was sitting down

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Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

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Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

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Why does the Batman theme song have 'na na na na na na na na' in it so many times? I guess Batman really likes sodium. Or maybe his record player's broken.

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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Three explorers are walking through the jungle when they are suddenly captured by a group of cannibals, the cannibals, going through years of culture and hereditary custom, kill the explorers, skin their bodies, chop them to pieces and cook their flesh, finally they eat it giving them a prosperous feast while the rest of the world is unaware of whatever happened in that jungle.

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit a talking Muffin."

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Man: You know what sucks? Other man: What? Man: Diarrhea... Know what's worse? Other man: No, what? Man: The smell.

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Your mama's so hairy, she has to shave occasionally.

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A man walks into a bar not a duck though

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A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

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Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

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yo mamma so fat that when she goes out in high heels she comes back in flip flops

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A blind man walks into a library.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Ok good, just checking. It would be a shame for your perishable foodstuffs to go bad.

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Poems are great but sometimes they don't make refridgerater

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops