What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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Why did the man read the terms of service? He had ignored them before, and was forced into a scam where a shady organization took all of his money and possessions. With no other way to provide for his family, the man began selling drugs, which led to several arrests. He has been n prison for 3 years now... His wife has left him for one of the man's close friends

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Roses are red Violets are Blue Let's just screw

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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How many nazis does it take to kill 1.2billion Jews? No one cares anymore it was 60 years ago \(._.\) (/._.)/

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Why didn't suzie eat? Because she wasn't hungry

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Knock Knock? Come in.

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What has Whitney Houston got in common with a spider? They're both black and they can't get out of the bathtub

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Bill goes and buys 45 watermelons, what does he have? 45 watermelons.

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Why did Bob the Builder die? He had cancer.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Two lifelong friends walk into the locl Bar and each order a Beer. " So how's life treating ya?" Phil replies, " Well Doug, I've got Stage Four Lung Cancer. I'm going to Die, remember?" Unfortunately, Doug doesn't remember because Doug has a Brain Tumor.

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My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

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yo mummas so FAT to get to the other side

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the person who wrote 1 under me is gay

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What type of pants do Mario and Luigi wear? Levi or Denim, I'm not sure why but probably because you can get a nice fitting pair for only a couple of bucks.

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What's worse than the holocaust? nothing it was a terrible act in history

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I am a dog.

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Why didn't Megan do her homework? Although Megan was an intelligent girl who had always done well academically, she remained unconvinced that anything taught in school held practical or philosophical importance.

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there are three women witch one is married? the one with the ring on its finger

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What did the talking muffin say to the other talking muffin? Ah! A talking muffin!

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A man walks into a bar. He tricks a lady into smelling a rag doused with chlorophoam, and rapes her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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