What's white and can't climb trees? Yogurt

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You always hear of the 9/11 stories where people who work in the World Trade Centers were late that day or home sick or whatever. My mom also worked there. It was a normal morning, got up to make us breakfast, got us to school on time, the whole bit. After having to do all that stuff, she actually got to work on time, and she died in the attack.

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That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

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What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

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Q: What's the biggest lie ever? A: Saying you read the Terms of Service

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What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

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are you from hawaii? because your the only ten I see

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What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

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A: Knock, Knock B: Whos there? A: Noone, the door and the visitor are both existential figments of your imagination.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

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What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

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Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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a man walks into a bar, it hurt.

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A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

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Why was the black family eating KFC? Because KFC tastes very nice and there was a discount on the family bucket.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

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What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

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why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue I am an onlince predator Post your address in the comment EJ

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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