What's worse than blowing out 1 lightbulb Blowing out 2 lightbulbs

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Knock, knock. Who's there? George. George who? Oh sorry, I thought this was number 52. my mistake.

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dont you hate it when your reading something and it doesnt end the way you cactus

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

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A apple a day keeps gramar away.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

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If 2 wrongs make a right and 2 rights make a wrong, then when you have 4 rights=2 wrongs, you have a true statement. If you have 8 rights = 4 wrongs, you have a verified statement.

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There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

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what did the white guy say to the black guy at the homeless shelter? Hi.

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What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idear.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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My brother is crazy... crazy like a fox! I caught him eating a Possum on the side of the road yesterday.

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

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I met her back in the 80s when she was a man.

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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what do a blonde and a brunette have in common? They were both red-heads until they walked into great clips.

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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