Did you hear about Phil in accounting? No? Well he was trying to make a new type of car. He took the seats from a ford engine from a dodge, and the frame from a toyota. Do you know what he got? 5 years in jail.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

why was there a fish in a fish tank ? because if it wasnt it would die

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What did the man do after his wife died? He farted.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Do you know what has always angered me about people not choosing to control their own lives Nero?

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

thumb_up thumb_down -42

You're welcome. On to the next house.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Oh my gosh a talking muffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Love and attention from his parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

thumb_up thumb_down -44

oh hi, i'm an idiot, i mean mitt romney

thumb_up thumb_down -48

What did the homeless man do with his trolley of aluminium cans He took them to the scrapyard and sold them back for money as this is his only source of income right now

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Where does Mario go after you finish the game? Drug rehab.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

What was wrong with the man watching a black and white television program? He wasn't watching a black and white television program at all-he actually had color blindness.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is an Italian pastry with tomato sauce, cheese and other toppings and the other is a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What grows best during the cold Winter season? The number of deaths among homeless people.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Whats red, black and brown? My anus after a Friday night

thumb_up thumb_down +37

You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A black man walks down a high street and sees a white woman approaching. He bids her good day and they carry on their respective journeys. He then turns around and follows the white woman and rapes her in a dark alleyway, because as we all know, all black men are rapists.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops