How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

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Why was the little girl crying Someone therew a dump truck at her

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes...? No, you're still Patrick!

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Roses are red,Here's something new ,violets are violets,not ******* blue

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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What do you get when you cross a moose with a crépe? A moose with a crépe up his nose. -ilikecrepes97

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Two tomatoes were crossing a road when one of them got hit by a truck. The other said, Carrot.

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What did the lawyer say to the Black man? Your case came through, the murderer of your wife has been caught

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What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

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Did you hear about that guy? He had a wonderful morning.

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What's black and red, and covers most of your body? Fourth degree burns. You should say your goodbyes.

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What direction do 5 gay guys walk? I am unable to answer that because they are all aspiring to work in different occupational fields.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a corvette? I didn't get 20 years for owning a corvette.

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Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Um no horses are overrated.

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Naw, not now, I don't want to be assimilated, I am a bit of a wuss right now, really tired.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? Well, contrary to popular belief, it is NOT Master Pain's (Betty's) "butt". You would most likely get a bungee jumping owl.

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Just so you are warned here folks, some of the jokes down here are really nasty, like you know... Antijokes... But luckily you got my family friendly stories about sex, incest, panties, grenades, dripping Meows, yeah... Regular family show stuff... IT HAPPENS TO US ALL! Right? Please tell me right? Riiight? Right? Yes? Phew, okay, for a moment I actually thought you where gonna tell me I was normal...

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How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

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How hard is it to cross a man with a tree? Jesus only needed a few nails

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what do the students call their red-headed friend? Mike.

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Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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