What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

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Why was Billy no mates? He had no friends.

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Get a life besides thumbing down statements telling you advice.........

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Two holocausts.

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what do you get when you combine sodium and hydroxide? sodium-hydroxide

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How does a black guy in debt make money fast at the bank? He applies for a loan and conscientiously works hard to pay off the loan in turn, which he was lucky enough to get at a low interest rate.

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yo mama just like a toilet, white and full of crap!

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Whats green and fuzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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What is Dora the Explorer's favorite food? Pussy.

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A boy with one arm walks into a rock climbing facility and quickly realizes that his dream of being a rock climber is impossible because he is blind.

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what do you call a guy that looks exactly like Mario. Frank because thats his name.

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nick and a mexican were in a falling plane.. nick ate the mexican... that is all..

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How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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How come dinosaurs don't talk? Because they're dead.

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Knock Knock Jehovah's witnesses!

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The funniest thing happened the other day, it was like one went like this, and the other went like that, and then everyone laughed... ...Oh, its one of those where you would have had to be there to see how funny it was.

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What did the duck say to the pickle? Quack

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Q) What did the Irishman get for his birthday? A) Drunk

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was blind.

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Women's rights

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Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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