Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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the WNBA.

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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i hate non minorities!

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A blind man who spoke English and a deaf man who used sign language went to a bar together. Although they didn't communicate they had a wonderful time.

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"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

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9 + 10 = How much yo mama makes.

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Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

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What do you call a fridge painted red and brown? A fridge.

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Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? He is short and finds it difficult getting from place to place.

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

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Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

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how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

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What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

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what did the man say to the other man he bumped into? sorry. and they never saw eachother again

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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