What do you call Anne Franks life? A big game of hide and go seek.

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

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what is the best way to start a car? put in the key and turn it.

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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A.M.E.V.A.A A-ny M-essage E-xpressed V-ia A-cronym is A-wesome

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How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

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Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

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What is just as important as Woman's Rights? Woman's Lefts, to maintain equality.

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whats black and white and red all over? ...a nun in a blender

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A man goes into a bar. He leaves drunk and beats his wife to death and burns the house and kids.

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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whats worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Ask me if I am a Truck Are You a Truck No

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What happened to Bilbo? He shit his pants.

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What do you call a seedless pumpkin? A pumpkin.

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Linda: See that rainbow? Isn't it beautiful? Bart: I'm color blind.... Linda: Well...this is awkward...

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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Why did the boy fall off his skateboard before running into a cross-section? Because he was shot.

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Q: What did hitler say to his generals? a: In a circumstance as the one we have found ourselves in. Eliminating our most threatening of enemies would be very logical. Unless they were of the superior race therefore, it may be frowned apon by our low ranked comrades. Causing another assasionation attempt on myself. So in conclusion I believe eliminating a rich and intelligent race far more superior than our own, would be the best way to go. So collect the Jews of Warsaw and we might have a chance.

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Roses are red violets are purple what the hell happened to your ugly face

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Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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