jasper walks into a bar, he sees an elephant and can't believe his eyes. he says "HORGWARSH!"

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How to you kill a pizza guy? Shoot him in the face.

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What was Helen Keller's favourite colour? None, due her disability she was unable to see colours...

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Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because KFC was hiring

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knock knock? who's there.......... MEEEE :D hehe

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What's red, green and smells like crap? Green and red crap.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know ask a second grader.

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A zebra and a giraffe are out in a safari and they see some humans. And then the cow, was drinking, the man was milking the drink, when the giraffe was going to buy some milk. She said, the was yeah okay.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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A guy walks into a doctor's office and says: "Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! One day I'm a teepee, and the next day I'm a wigwam, and then the next day I'm a teepee, and then the next day I'm a wigwam again. The doctor says: Sir, we've been over this 100 times! You have stage 4 pancreatic cancer...

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Why did the Iraqi airline crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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Hello Braydon I am at home where are you?

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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what did the fish say when i threw it at the wall. Ouch. Then the world ended because it caused a ripple in the fabric of reality.

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A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

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A man commands his dog to sit. However, his dog is poorly trained, so does not.

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Are you thinking Arby's? No. My grandmother died of tuberculosis and it's troubling me.

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Just want to know where I will be dipping my... MANFLESH!

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The unfortunate child in a pedophile's basement who the police have yet to find.

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1 white girl and 2 black men -TRAGIC

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Why was Billy unhappy? He was molested by a black guy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops