Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Because she had no arms!

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How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

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Why did the boy kill his parents? Because he doesn't understand this joke either

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Why was Mary's turkey dry on Thanksgiving dinner? Because she left it in the oven too long.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I've just bought a chainsaw, and I will now decapitate you.

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What did the black kid down the road get for Christmas? Your Bike.

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A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar, but then realises he's ruining his family so he calls the rehab

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What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

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Knock knock whose there alzheimers alzheimers who get in the van

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So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

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Q: What's big, black, and smelly? A: The unemployment line.

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i actually read the terms of service before i posted this

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A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What is the worst joke ever? This one.

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I have a very serious problem with my narcolepsy. I occasionalolahdf;honainbirgnipqgierngiaqbhgpqruiph

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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A Jewish boy walks up to his father and says: Dad, can I borrow 50 dollars? The dad responds: 40 dollars?!? What are you going to do with 30 dollars?!?

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I am strangling you. Do you see my arms? I AM FREAKEN STRANGLING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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knock knock who's there? banana well that's an odd name. banana then began to break down in tears because his parents were constant drug abusers and gave him that name while they were high

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There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

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What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

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If you listen to Justin Beiber all day long, what do you become? Very hungry and thirsty. And you need to go to the restroom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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